Penned in

Sep. 9th, 2017 04:35 pm
silailo: (she monster)
I don't know why I do this to myself on the weekends when I know it's best for me to just stay in until Sunday when I go do my grocery shopping. But I guess I have so little time to do anything else during the week that it's a bit like releasing a dam.

And there will be whining )
silailo: (belldandy blue)
Long story short, eclipse weekend was exhausting. Since my aunt lives in the path of totality, I got to see a total eclipse, which was pretty cool--both figuratively and literally because it did cool down as the moon moved in front of the sun. It also got dark enough to see a few stars and the horizon looked like either morning or evening. I didn't think I'd be that excited as the time came, but the most excited person I think was my cousin, haha.

But I say it was exhausting because I didn't get very good sleep. I slept on the floor, which was fine because I have an amazing REI sleeping pad, so I was perfectly comfortable. But I slept in the office which was right next to the living room and kitchen area, and I was usually the first person to bed while everyone else would stay up till almost midnight. Add small children into the mix and I had a hard time getting to sleep. I lived on coffee.

Then the new people now living in the apartment above me stay up past midnight, one or two in the morning. I'm not the only one who's noticed, but I may be the only person who's bothered. I get that some people are night owls or have insomnia, but this is ridiculous because apparently it's more than one person. I asked two of my roommates if they've heard noises above their rooms late at night and they said yes.

At one point I called the night manager to make a noise complaint, but it went to his voicemail and I didn't bother leaving a message. Maybe it's not really worth it. The only thing that really bothers me is how sometimes they knock things around. And now that our new beds are higher off the floor, we have to slide off our beds onto the floor, which may account for some of the loud thumps I hear.

Yesterday I bought silicone ear plugs because the regular foam kind hurt my ears anymore. I need something that doesn't hurt as much when I sleep on my side, because I'm really not a back sleeper. The silicone ones feel a little better, but they can bother me a bit after a while, and they don't block out as much noise. But still, a bit more comfortable than the foam ones. I managed to fall asleep before midnight and got somewhat better sleep.

Really, though, I think what really keeps me up is my anger at the noise, not so much the noise itself, so I've been trying to manage that.

It's affected me at work. I can drive as much as four hours a day, and fighting exhaustion while I'm driving is extremely dangerous. I drank an entire 5-Hour Energy yesterday, even though I usually just sip it over a two or three day period (I can't drink a whole one at once). I have zero motivation or desire to do my work because I am too darn tired to care. I need to catch up on my sleep.

Sadly, I have to work tomorrow because I didn't work on Monday. I would've liked a three day weekend to get the rest I need, but I'll have to settle for two days.

I waffle between looking forward to going back home and dreading it. This is one instance where I'm looking forward to it.

No change

Jul. 19th, 2017 06:20 pm
silailo: (belldandy blue)
There hasn't been any improvement at work. Yesterday I went with my supervisor and a bunch of other employees to go look at a mine that was going to open again at some point. It's been in operation on and off for something like a hundred years, and it was mostly about where they would put drill pads and roads and stuff. I felt a bit out of place because I didn't know exactly why I was even there. I don't think it was necessary to bring me along.

My supervisor had to leave early because his wife texted him and said their young son was really, really sick and throwing up a lot. So I spent the rest of the trip as the only representative of the archaeology crew and having pretty much everything go over my head. But I think my supervisor already got the gist of what our part in this project would be and what he needed to do. At least it burned up 10 hours and it was way better than languishing in the office trying to look busy.

I had a feeling he would not be in today because of that family emergency. It didn't sound like something a kid would recover from quickly.

I got a text from him early this morning, telling me now he was sick. I knew that might happen because I've had what his son has, and it's extremely contagious. My whole family got sick once, all in quick succession. I just hope I don't get it because I was in close proximity in a truck with him for most of yesterday and I don't know if he was already carrying whatever it is. It's weird because the AFA was also sick last weekend with something similar and he thought it was just food poisoning.

So I spent the day in the office messing around in GIS (first time I've touched it all season), renaming PDF files (there are a few thousand to rename, all those files I scanned), typing up my notes, getting my field photos off my phone and sorted into folders with photo logs, finishing what I could on a site form, and shifting the files in the cabinets because there were a few I had to put in that wouldn't fit. It would help if people didn't stuff things in to the point where you can't take one out without taking out twenty all at once.

My disappointment over this situation has returned. This is getting really embarrassing.

Yesterday my supervisor said a few days ago someone came into the office saying she and another person had been volunteers a couple of years ago and would be interested in doing it again. He looked at their notes for some sites they had monitored and was impressed. He seemed interested in the possibility of using them to monitor sites because we get some kind of brownie points for working with volunteers.

Um, how about you use me to monitor sites, since that's what you hired me to do?

I am so bothered by this. I'm so bothered by all of this.

Today I was in the mail room making new labels for the file cabinets when the lady who manages the budget came in to make some copies. She asked what I was up to and I explained what was going on with the files. She said she thought we had a lot of fieldwork to do, and I said, "What fieldwork?" I told her I was pretty much a sitting duck when no one else was around to work with me. No one ever gives me projects in the field to do on my own, and the few I have been given are stalled. She said I wasn't hired to do filing in the office all day, to which I heartily agreed.

I was so embarrassed by this interaction, but she seemed to understand my frustration. At this point three people know of my plight. But if the person who manages the budget knows about it, I know she's going to mention it to someone. She knows what's going on with the money and where it should be spent, and she will argue that no one should be wasting the already-strapped budget on seasonals they don't use.

I was going to mention some of my concerns to my supervisor today, but, alas, he was out sick, so..... And he might be sick tomorrow, too, and I have nothing--almost absolutely nothing--to do.

Last year I was outside every day to where I almost couldn't stand it anymore and welcomed time in the office. Now it feels like a treat to just step out in the parking lot. At least when I was in the office on my old forest they had our noses to the grindstone filling out paperwork.

I'm dreading tomorrow. If my supervisor is out sick again, I don't know what I'm going to with myself. I am so tired of this.

I'm not sure what he'll be doing if he does come in. According to his calendar he has something going on, but I don't know if he'll opt to answer his email and missed calls instead. If he comes in, I really don't want to get close to him because I'm afraid he might still be contagious or something.

Sometimes I wonder if this would be happening if I was a guy.

EDIT: There may be something I could do tomorrow if I'm alone. I will try to do something.

Oh, and the AFA called my phone today but didn't leave a message. I didn't call back because if he didn't leave a message, it wasn't important.

EDIT: Yeah, I think I'll try to go out tomorrow to these recreation residences that need some stuff done, like a little survey. I'll have to make a phone call first because I'm not a hundred percent sure which road we took last time, and I need to know a bit more about what needs to be done. If my supervisor is in tomorrow, I'll ask him what he thinks about it. I need to show I have initiative, not just to my supervisor, but to the people who have seen me bumming around the office. Ah, the curse of being a timid, passive person...


Jul. 10th, 2017 04:37 pm
silailo: (Default)
So far things have been really disappointing at work. Like I said in my last entry, I'm going on three weeks with only two actual days in the field. I don't think this happened when I started my first season with the Forest Service. They were pushing us out within the first week.

I finally got access to my employee account today, after calling the Help Desk about getting access to a computer without a Linc Pass. Linc Passes are used to login into our computers by inserting a card into the computer, but they were only issued to permanent employees, whereas seasonals just used regular login credentials. But now there is a new rule that says everyone, including seasonals, must have a Linc Pass to use a computer. This is a problem because it can take months to get one. The Help Desk person I spoke to was able to grant me a 30-day exception to use a computer without a pass (and only one computer), but it will be longer before I get my own pass. When I told him I was only going to be working for two months, he pretty much said I wasn't likely to get a pass. So what the heck am I supposed to do once my 30-day exception expires?

To make matters worse, I don't have my own computer and probably won't get one. When I arrived, my supervisor had a computer for me, but it was taken away because it had belonged to another employee who had gotten a new computer recently. An old computer can't be used by anyone else, according to The Rules™. I never got to use it.

So not only do I get a limited time to access a computer, I don't even have a computer to do my work on.

What am I even supposed to do in the office????? I can't do what I was hired to do. I can't just shuffle files around when my job description says I'm supposed to be writing reports, filling out site forms, doing GIS, surveying, monitoring... These are the skills I've been cultivating over the last two seasons. I was under the impression that I would expand on my skills and work more independently. I was told this summer would be really fun. This is not fun. At all.

I pretty much spent eight hours deleting emails I'd gotten over the winter (yes, we continue getting emails, even when we can't access our email accounts), scrolling through AgLearn to find something to read about (not a lot there), updating some old account info, playing around on my phone, and reading a book. I didn't want to look through the files again because if I have to look at any more files I'm gonna throw up.

To be fair, my supervisor just came back from two weeks of annual leave to move his family up here from California. He had 300+ emails to sort through, a ton of phone messages, and some other work needed for some upcoming fieldwork this week, which may or may not happen depending on whether or not he can get ahold of someone. So tomorrow might another day in the office.

The assistant forest archaeologist is up north training a tribal crew. Call me jealous, but it makes me fume knowing they are getting more field experience than I am right now. Neither of them are with the Forest Service, and I'm pretty sure one of them has no interest whatsoever in doing archaeology. Can I trade places with him, please??

My short time here is precious and needs to be spent gaining valuable experience. So far a good portion of two weeks has been wasted sitting in the office doing mostly nothing. I feel like I can't do my work properly or use my skills.

My desire to return next year is shrinking fast. I am so bored, and I feel abandoned.
silailo: (compass)
First the good stuff:

I'm getting close to finishing the files at work. I was really uncertain I could get it done, but I think I can pull it off. I moved a little slower today because I moved so quickly yesterday, and I need to slow down so I can do quality work. Pay day is Friday again!

Cleaning inspection was today and I passed all my duties, except they told me to scrub the toilet. I'll have to get a pumice stone because that's hard water staining, not mold. The instructions say to use a pumice stone if needed, which is new to me. I didn't know you could do that.

Only one of the girls' rooms failed inspection because the floor needed to be vacuumed. When I tried to use the vacuum in my room, I had to empty the vacuum's dust canister because it was so full. Otherwise it had no suction. Now it is functional.

Aside from not mopping the kitchen floor or vacuuming the hallway, both of which desperately need it (brown tile does well to conceal the dirt), these girls can clean up all right. I just wish they'd do it more than once a month!

Now for the crappy:

I ordered something off of eBay on Sunday, and by Monday night I got an email saying it had been delivered. It was almost 11 at night. I thought, "Delivered where?" The post office doesn't deliver mail at 11 at night. The tracking info said "individual picked up at USPS." Um, I didn't pick up anything.

Uncertain of what this meant, I hoped it just meant it had been delivered to the apartment office or something, but at 11??

I checked my apartment's mailbox today and also checked in the office, no package. I looked at the tracking info again, and it said the package had been delivered in Sacramento! I'm in Idaho! What the heck!!

So I emailed the seller, and the seller said USPS made a mistake, and they didn't know why the tracking said it was delivered. They assured me the package was on its way. I was relieved at the time, but now I'm uncertain again. They have the same tracking info I do, so how do they know the package is still in transit? It's just so weird.

Luckily it's something inexpensive. But I have two more packages coming and now I'm worried. This is the first time I've had something mailed to me at this address, and this happens. I don't need the stress of a new place and people compounded by this.

To add to my worry, I got a letter from Experian telling me that within the last 30 days, a creditor reported a change to my name, address, or social security number (people can do that??). I have a credit freeze with all three credit agencies, but I unfroze them for four days to allow time for a credit check on my apartment application. After that, my accounts froze again. I followed the instructions in the letter and called the number, only for the automated message to pretty much repeat the letter. Their other recommendation was to order a credit report, either online or by phone. I did it online for free, and everything checked out as far as I could see. Nothing seemed amiss. But I only checked my report with Experian, so I might have to check the other agencies. I'm hoping this just means someone tried to use my identity but failed because of my frozen credit.

Before I moved, I found out my insurance had to change my primary care provider because my old one was no longer in their network. The new PCP they assigned me is in another town a half hour from my house back home. WTF, Amerigroup. They just assign random doctors in their network. The first one they gave me was a pediatrician.

I'm not sure what this means for my medication. I was seeing a PA under my old doctor, so I'm hoping he's still at the clinic, but it might depend on if the doctor he's under now is taking new patients. Being out of state for the summer, I can't go in person to see a doctor to renew my prescription. I guess I'll just call the clinic to ask what the heck I need to do.

EDIT: My package is now in Idaho. Well, good.

silailo: (bottle rose)
More about the Upstairs Chimp Hoard )

Right now I'm trying to fill out my graduate application, but I've stopped again on the statement of purpose. I'm going over it again and....aaaaaarrrrgh!

Today at work I scanned so many files that I actually started feeling woozy. I decided to leave earlier than I intended because I just couldn't do it anymore, and I was afraid of making a huge mistake. I got back to the apartments, exercised, and then went grocery shopping. Now I'm here working on this derned application.

EDIT: I just submitted it. ._. I'm scared now.


Jun. 12th, 2017 06:15 pm
silailo: (belldandy blue)
Suddenly I started hearing people in the apartment above me. Since I moved in, I haven't heard anything upstairs at all, making me wonder if the unit was empty. Once I thought I heard something, but I never heard anything again. It's summer, so a lot of students aren't here, and some units are empty right now. It pleased me to think it was empty because I am ridiculously sensitive to sound. If there's too much noise at night, I cannot sleep. Yet, strangely, I can have a fan on at night.

They sounded like young men. They were running and yelling and stomping around. It was really loud. I couldn't understand why they would be creating so much noise. Parties aren't allowed in these apartments, and it's Monday evening.

I thought I kept hearing people outside, too, so I went to look out the front living room window, and a bunch of sports-looking guys came down the stairs dressed in sports clothes and carrying duffle bags. Oh my gods. Please no. Are these people our new upstairs neighbors?! But there are only six rooms to a unit, and there were way more than six guys. Maybe the rest are in the unit next to it? That they'd be here might mean they're staying longer than what they can afford at a hotel, if they are in indeed staying here. I hope they have an adult figure to keep them in check (they looked like teenagers/early twenty-somethings to me).

I notified maintenance about a problem I believe might be electrical. I use a fan at night and noticed the airflow would weaken, and then grow strong again. It sort of annoyed me because of how quickly the flow and sound would drop, even keeping me awake (did I mention I was ridiculously sensitive to sound?). I've never seen this happen before, but I thought maybe something was wrong with my fan. I bought a new one, but the same thing happened. It didn't matter which outlet I used. I also noticed my desk lamp would grow brighter and then dim, almost like it was flickering. Everyone I told this story to said I should tell maintenance because it would be a serious issue. I bought a surge protector to be on the safe side.

Maintenance called in an electrician to see about it. Today I came back from work and noticed bits of what looked like dry wall on my floor, against the wall and right by my door. I looked around and couldn't figure out where it could've come from. The best clue is I have is the light switch just above the debris, but it doesn't look like it was removed and replaced.

hen I got an email saying the electrician checked the circuit panel but found nothing wrong. He said it may be normal usage since there are other rooms who use that same panel. Um, then how come I've never had it happen in hotels or even when I was at Bible school in a dorm?? What in the heck would make that happen? I mean, I guess there are a lot of refrigerators and dishwashers in this building, but really? Is it the A/C? Is this normal for apartments? I wouldn't know because this is my first time living in one!

I still don't know how the bits of drywall happened. I don't recall it being there when I moved in.

The grad school application is up.o_o I don't know if I'm ready for this.


May. 29th, 2017 05:10 pm
silailo: (adios)
I've worked on rewriting my statement of purpose for about three or four hours and all I've been able to churn out is 350 words. This is down from 1200 on my old one. That's after cutting out all the stuff about what I did in the past. I'm not sure what more I can do to increase the word count. I don't even know how long the statement needs to be. I won't know until I open the application, once it goes up.

And seriously, one of the examples I found online is provided by an actual university, so the person who wrote it was doing something right at least. Then there's a second one that's longer and they talk a lot about their past experiences, so why can't I? >:(

I don't want to walk away from this until I feel more satisfied about my progress. But I probably should. Ugh.


Mar. 16th, 2017 05:36 pm
silailo: (bottle rose)
I just found the dumbest misspelling on my USA Jobs resume. Instead of writing "rugged backcountry roads," I wrote "ruffed backcountry roads."

I have been so sleepy lately. This time change messed up my sleeping schedule. I go to bed late and get up late. I've also been struggling with sleepiness at around 5pm, and it's always the worst on days when I need to exercise in the evening. Usually I try to exercise at 7pm, but it doesn't help that I pretty much want to be in bed by then.
silailo: (wah)
I want to say buying anime merchandise is a bad "investment," but you're not really investing in anything. It's just that you pay through the nose for something, and then when you go to resell it for whatever reason, you get a tiny fraction back of what you paid for it. Maybe the word I'm looking for is depreciation? I don't know.  It just makes me mad. I just sold a nice, somewhat-rare DVD box set from a highly acclaimed anime for mere peanuts. It went for less than what I paid for one DVD. Maybe this is part of the reason I've fallen out of the anime fandom, because that crap costs too much and it ain't worth jack.

Maybe it's because I bought this stuff during the height of its popularity and now no one cares. Good thing Sailormoon made a comeback because I got back what I paid for that poster plus the cost of the tube to ship it in.
silailo: (urd)
I got two rejection notices from two jobs I applied for. Oh well. It just always sucks to get rejected, even if I didn't want whatever I was applying for.

I've been having some pain in my arms and legs. I attribute it to sitting at the computer too much. Last night I was on the computer until almost midnight, writing a fic. When I'm in a groove, it's hard to stop. When I sit too long, my tailbone region also starts to ache. In college the pain got so bad I could hardly drive any considerable distance. Any time I had to ride the bus home it was difficult (I was commuting as long as three hours each day on the bus). Never did go see a doctor about it, probably because at the time I didn't have health insurance, not until maybe the last year of college. By then the pain wasn't as bad as it had been.

The other day I tried to get on my elliptical and stopped after about thirty minutes because of a weird tingling sensation in both my legs, but in different places. It kind of freaked me out. Then today my knee had some sharp stabbing pains. I don't know if it was just some kind of weird muscle spasm or what. These last few days my right ankle has ached as well. Again, I think it's from sitting too long at the computer with bad posture and with my legs tucked up on the chair. And not getting up enough to move around and stretch.

I try so hard these days to make sure I'm in shape because it's important for my job. I stretch, warm up, exercise, then stretch again. I try to stretch daily, even on days when I don't exercise. I really don't want to get hurt again.

My parents tell me I'm just beginning to age, and I'm going to have more aches and pains. WTF, I'm not that old. But I'll just keep taking care of myself. Now if only I could make myself eat and drink better.
silailo: (Mingchao gun)
So much suck these past few days.

I got a ahold of the unemployment agency. It's a long story I don't have to elaborate on. They fixed my problem and now I can send my papers.

The next problem is worse: I didn't get paid yesterday like I was supposed to. It's my last paycheck. I talked to my supervisor and she said she didn't have any T&A's to approve. I called HR and they said they could see my last T&A and it hadn't been approved. So for some weird reason the last time card I sent for approval didn't get through to my supervisor and has thus been sitting unapproved in the system. She can't see it, so she can't approve it. I emailed her this morning but she has yet to respond. She might not be in the office today for all I know! I hope she will be tomorrow at least. Even if we got all this sorted out and the T&A got approved, I'd still be waiting until December 5 to get paid.

At least I got a freaking doctor's appointment at the end of the week without having to wait a month to get in.

silailo: (pencils)
Filing for unemployment sucks. I got my paperwork in the mail and realized they put down last year's start and end date for my job. I have no idea how the heck that happened. And there's no way to call them except through the automated phone tree that takes me nowhere. So I had to go online and use their messaging service. I hate messaging services. It seems too easy for them to not see it or ignore it. They're probably not open on weekends, either, so I might not hear back until Monday. Why in the heck would they think I wanted unemployment benefits for a job I did last year? Can people do that?

This is on a form I have to submit with information and documents. I'm tempted to just circle the date, write down the correct one, and then submit everything and let them figure it out. It's not my fault they're so hard to get a hold of. I'm trying to responsible here.

If they have to send me a new form, fine.

silailo: (benkate)
One more week of work left.

Still haven't heard from the Postal Service. I've pretty much given up at this point. I tried to call the only number I had to see if I couldn't get ahold of someone to tell me what's going on, and I left a message, but they never called back. I didn't think they would anyway.

I think I know what happened, and it was exactly what I was worried about from the beginning. I had an old, non-functioning email address attached to the application. When Yahoo got hacked, I lost access to that email, so I had to create a new one. I didn't realize it was the email in my Postal Service career profile until after I sent the application. I have no idea if it's actually attached to the application, but I changed the one in my profile. But if the old one is in the application, then they might've been trying to send me emails, only for the emails to be thrown into a void.

I'm pretty mad about this. This is the third time I've tried to get with the Postal Service over the holiday season and failed. It's really embarrassing. As I said last year, maybe I'll try again next year. Uuugh.

Now I'm looking into temping. I need to keep working through the winter. I'll get depressed otherwise, and I'll end up using money in my savings when I'm supposed to be saving that for grad school.

Tough week

Aug. 21st, 2016 11:35 am
silailo: (urd)
I miss the days of Livejournal. I would update multiple times a day.

Yuletide is coming up again. I don't think I'll sign up this year, but I'll keep my eye out for prompts I might want to write treats for.

The Passport in Time project was...hard. I would say it was okay, not what I'd call fun, but all right. I had a meltdown when I got home due to problems in the family, but things are better now. A full, relaxing weekend would be nice. I really only got a partial weekend this time. Doing artsy stuff and reading and writing would be great, if I could get myself away from mindlessly browsing the internet and getting nothing done. Or cleaning my bathroom. It seems I clean my bathroom every freaking weekend because somehow it gets mucked up when I'm gone. People only use the toilet, so how does the floor--oh, that's right. The cat. He tracks in litter when he goes to drink out of the toilet and leaves paw prints everywhere.

On the bright side, I managed to start a new book and do a little writing. Just lately I haven't had the heart or emotional energy to do anything creative.

I got a new paper journal at Barnes and Noble. I was willing to spend a little more money on it, but I happened to choose a relatively cheap one by B&N standards. Maybe this will encourage me to write daily, since I've been slacking on doing that.

Life Group

Jan. 7th, 2016 04:10 pm
silailo: (fino)
So I'm going to the Life Group Bible study tonight. Have I talked about this already? I don't remember.

I'm really nervous, though. I'm meeting a bunch of people I don't know in a social space I don't normally get into and it's really nerve-racking. Meeting new people has never been easy for me. Is it for anyone? My "greeting" manners are awkward and once that's over and done with, I don't know what else to do. I have no idea how many people will be there. And I don't know why it's at 8pm. It seems kind of late. Luckily it's only about ten minutes from my house in an area I'm familiar with, and I'm guessing meetings are only an hour long.

Dang it, I forgot to make a call today. I've been wanting to get in contact with a professional counselor. I tried a few days ago and I only got her message machine, but because of my super awkward feelings about phones and messages--unless I know exactly what I'm going to say--I didn't leave a message. I'm starting to think I might need some help on some issues, especially self-esteem issues I've for almost as long as I can remember and I'm sick of it.
silailo: (benkate 2)
I don't know where all my days go. I get up late and wind up going to bed late and the cycle continues. I've tried to go to bed earlier but then I can't sleep and still get up late. There's an easy way to fix this, and it's to be more disciplined by forcing myself to bed early and then setting my alarm at a reasonable time. But I get my biggest creative drives at night and I just want to stay up and revel in it.

Like tonight I need to exercise because I skipped yesterday, again due to a creative drive (I wrote a lot in my fanfic). There's just not enough time in the day for me to do all I want. Today I did a little shopping with my mom and we didn't get back until almost 4.

Ugh. I just remembered I need to go get my laundry out of the drier because it's been sitting there for almost two days. Guess why.

I need to clean up my spaces so I can feel better with a clean slate.
silailo: (mingchao colors)
I decided that I would try to write a little in Chapter 43 of The Long Dark. I have had some sort of terrible writer's block for a long time. So I tried to write at least a hundred words, push a little further, just to make some progress. Now I feel like I'm getting somewhere and want to keep working on it, but I have to stop so I can take five to ten minutes to doodle something, and then I have to go exercise. After that, I won't have any more time. I'll need to shower and get to bed at a reasonable time, because I'm volunteering again tomorrow.

This happens often. I'll really start getting into something and have to quit. It seems I never have enough time. I wish I had these moments in the morning, on a day when I don't have anything planned, so I have a whole day to play. But these things either happen late in the evening or in the late morning when I have to be getting ready for something in the afternoon.

I woke up really late again, went shopping most of the afternoon (bought nothing except food), and wasted more time after getting back. I just keep wasting my days doing everything except what I really want to do, but then when I actually get a chance to sit down and do it, I sit down and bum around on the internet doing nothing productive, reading articles and blogs and whatnot.

Lately I've had a lot of inner turmoil and issues that I feel have been stopping me from doing creative things. Or maybe I'm just being lazy? That could very well be it.

silailo: (benkate 2)
Looks like I'm going to be back in with the thrift store starting tomorrow. I called the volunteer director the other day and left a message because I wasn't sure if I needed to go through the application process again. Apparently I don't. I got a call this morning from the thrift store.

Yesterday was just terrible for me, for reasons I don't want to state here. I prefer to keep that stuff to my written journal. Somehow it has affected my ability or desire to write creatively, but for some reason it has sparked my desire to draw more. However, I have chosen to no longer post my artworks online for reasons, again, I don't want to say here. It seems people react more positively to my writings than to my drawings anyway.

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