Jan. 20th, 2017

silailo: (bottle rose)
Well! I heard back from my supervisor this morning about what she thought of the forests down in NM and AZ. She thought it'd be a good opportunity and that I should say I'm still interested.

Unfortunately, I emailed the people yesterday to say I wasn't.

I don't think it's a good idea to go back on it. Wouldn't make me look very good, IMO. There will be other opportunities in the future for work in that region (assuming they don't require experience in that region to begin with), but even after I've made my decision I still feel unsettled. Yet if I had said yes, I'd still feel unsettled. If it had only been for one summer, sure, I probably would've put my name in for consideration, but this would've been a job I would've had to return to year after year. Am I up for traveling that far that often on my own?

My natural inclination throughout the years was to let my fears make decisions for me. Though I've been trying to learn not to do that, I still tend to listen to my gut instincts. If I don't feel "right" about something, I don't do it. When I accepted the job where I am now, I was excited and absolutely certain I wanted it, but with this possibility I wasn't excited, but dreaded the future.

I really have to make the best decision for myself, though.

Although, it was really tempting to let them consider me. They asked for my top three choices of locations, and I had it down to Albuquerque, Silver City (old mining tourist town!!!!), and Grants, if only because they had the highest populations. That and the fact the archaeology in the southwest is pretty cool was another tempting factor. Maybe I should just plan a summer trip and go visit someday?

silailo: (urd)
I got two rejection notices from two jobs I applied for. Oh well. It just always sucks to get rejected, even if I didn't want whatever I was applying for.

I've been having some pain in my arms and legs. I attribute it to sitting at the computer too much. Last night I was on the computer until almost midnight, writing a fic. When I'm in a groove, it's hard to stop. When I sit too long, my tailbone region also starts to ache. In college the pain got so bad I could hardly drive any considerable distance. Any time I had to ride the bus home it was difficult (I was commuting as long as three hours each day on the bus). Never did go see a doctor about it, probably because at the time I didn't have health insurance, not until maybe the last year of college. By then the pain wasn't as bad as it had been.

The other day I tried to get on my elliptical and stopped after about thirty minutes because of a weird tingling sensation in both my legs, but in different places. It kind of freaked me out. Then today my knee had some sharp stabbing pains. I don't know if it was just some kind of weird muscle spasm or what. These last few days my right ankle has ached as well. Again, I think it's from sitting too long at the computer with bad posture and with my legs tucked up on the chair. And not getting up enough to move around and stretch.

I try so hard these days to make sure I'm in shape because it's important for my job. I stretch, warm up, exercise, then stretch again. I try to stretch daily, even on days when I don't exercise. I really don't want to get hurt again.

My parents tell me I'm just beginning to age, and I'm going to have more aches and pains. WTF, I'm not that old. But I'll just keep taking care of myself. Now if only I could make myself eat and drink better.

September 2017

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